Jerry, you need to find god
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
