just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
