I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
