Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
