Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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