Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
