when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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