I think im going to throw up on grandma
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
