So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
