bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
