Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize