Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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