I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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