Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
