South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I wish you could order shots online.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
