No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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