Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
