You really coming over, don't trick.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
