I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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