It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
