You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
