I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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