you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
