Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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