If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
only you would photoshop your dick
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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