i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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