We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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