I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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