You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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