i wish my penis had a tongue
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
