shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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