So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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