Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
