btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just gift wrapped bread.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
