As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
