and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
