Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
