and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
