dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
