I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
