hotel room ftw
I heard we made out
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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