and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
