I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
