First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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