Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
