her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
