I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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