Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
