went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
