Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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