it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize