I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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