i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
