i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Randomize