Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
