A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
