North Korea, Best Korea!
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
