This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize