i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
