3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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