dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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