I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
