Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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