Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
This toilet bowl is my home.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
