I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
