im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Randomize
