Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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