Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
