how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
