Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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