i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize