I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
