Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
