My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
