loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
