And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
