im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
