just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
