You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
