Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
im six kinds of drunk right now
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
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